»I'm the first lady of lesbianism.

May 29, 2008

CARMEN & AARALYN FLASH MOVIE!

Filed under: Movies — Tags: , — Tania @ 2:28 am

I’ve been enjoying that last (big) long LesbianTraining flash movie so much that I’ve decided to scrounge up some more. Here are Carmen & Aaralyn showing us a prime example of ripe blonde ass. If you’re a fan of juicy butts and toy-play as much as I am, this is a movie you may even wanna bookmark. Seriously… it’s THAT good. You may even want to click that link — I know, it’s annoying, but it’s the only way I can post these movies :-( — because LesbianTraining is like the Rocky of Lesbian porn. LOL ;) ttyl

TRAVELING OUTSIDE THE GARDEN?

Filed under: Site Reviews — Tags: — Tania @ 1:11 am

If you’ve spent your fair share of time and money surfing the web for something new — something better — you’ve come to the right place. I’ve been surfing lesbian porn for over a decade, and have compiled quite the list of ringers just for you!

In the left sidebar, you’ll find a list of banners linked to no- console, popup-free tours. Down below, you’ll find my reviews which are re-ranked daily based on how many times you guys click ‘em.

No, I haven’t lost my mind… :P I had to write these directions as if you were sitting on this page, silly.

THIS IS WHAT I’m TALKING ABOUT!!

May 28, 2008

THE WORD

Filed under: Site Updates — Tags: — Tania @ 2:44 am

It’s good.  Sometimes it can even be great.  Am I high on crack?  Not yet.

Once I accomplish something major, I have a lot to say… maybe not a lot to write, but I do have to consciously shut my mouth.  I’m experiencing one of those moments right now.  Enough suspense already.  You guys don’t care about words, do ya?  :laughs:  I do. 

I managed to avert near disaster in a number of ways tonight.  Let’s just be thankful we can look at patchlickers right now.  For a good 45 minutes, I thought the database was going to make my server explode, but it just needed a bit of optimization.  Look at me go!  I’ve actually learned something while building this site. Ahhhhh… soak it up.  It’s a feeling… A feeling much like Victory. 

May 27, 2008

JUST ONE MORE CHANGE…

Filed under: Site Updates — Tags: — Tania @ 10:48 pm

Hi everyone, sorry for the interruption with the thumbnail previews. I just wanted to make one last tweak with the sizing on the archives pages before settling on things for good. Maybe I’m optimistic, but I think I can get things back to normal by tomorrow’s update… at least the small thumbs, anyway. In the meanwhile, be sure to check out my blog and the text listings if you haven’t already. Hey — at least this time I know what the problem is!

:mrgreen:

POOLSIDE PATCHLICKERS

Filed under: Stories — Tags: — Tania @ 2:50 am

Jessica stripped nude and lay face down on the patio chair by the pool. The sun beat down and beads of sweat began to collect on her back and buttocks. Glistening drops trickled downward, tracing the sides of her breasts and slowly advancing between her legs, moistening her pussy lips. Jessica was an athletic blond with soft, slightly tanned complexion and long sandy blond hair. Her breasts were smallish and well formed, upright with small tannish-pink aureoles and small, protruding nipples. Although athletic, her curves and skin betrayed a certain softened quality. She was 26, divorced, and currently enjoying the spacious backyard of her secluded mansion. She enjoyed sunbathing nude alone in her backyard, finding the heat, soft breeze, and naked exposure titillating. She would sometimes masturbate on the patio by the pool with her sighs echoing through the deserted yard. Today, she felt extremely turned on, becoming more aware daily of the loneliness that possessed her since her husband left her. She thought of her friend Anne and resisted the impulse to touch herself, preferring to wait for the anticipated encounter.

Anne used her key to enter the palatial home of her friend Jessica. She knew she would be by the pool, so Anne entered without ringing, and placed her bag on the table by the entryway. She meandered slowly through the enormous rooms of the home towards the second living room in the rear. Anne was taller than Jessica, with long, flowing dark hair and deep, brown eyes. She was more classically beautiful, with a penetrating quality to her dark eyes and and an almost hypnotic beauty in her face. Her complexion was more fair, and her body almost entirely soft and voluptuous, compare to the ruddy athleticism of Jessica. Jessica’s face was cuter, with the hint of something exotic. Anne had not planned on swimming, coming over to use Jessica’s work room for a story she was producing. She was dressed for work, with plane white shorts, sandals, and a light blue t-shirt. She moved absentmindedly through the sliding glass door to say high to Jessica, not taking notice yet of her nude friend on the patio.

“Ohhh!!,” Anne startled, taking in the full view of Jessica’s entirely nude and sweating body stretched out on the patio chair. Jessica lay face down with her head resting on her folded arms. Her body was covered in sweaty moisture over its entire length. Anne’s eyes reflexively traced down Jessica’s frame, scanning smoothly over her bare and beaded back, rising in artistic curvature over the sculpture of her moistened rear, descending to the back of her thighs. Her heart leapt at Jessica’s complete nudity. Anne stumbled slightly backward at the shock, her right hand rushing to cover her mouth, and her face lit up in a blush. Jessica did not move. She did not even open her eyes.

“You should lay out for a little while before going in to work,” Jessica said matter-of-fact.

“Ummm…I’m sorry…I…you startled me,” Anne’s voice was almost laughing a little now. She became aware now, as the shock dissipated, that she was also turned on. Jessica’s moistened body was beautiful. Her eyes again roved over the soft curves of the nude body before her, and the flushing in her face spread over her neck. She was perhaps just as aroused by the matter-of-fact tone of Jessica’s response. ‘She doesn’t mind that I’m seeing her like this’ she mused, the flush on her neck spreading downward over her chest. Anne’s breasts felt fuller to her. The t-shirt was constricting and she feared it might betray her excitement just as her nipples began to awaken. Jessica was smiling at the reply, but still did not open her eyes.

“This pool is the most secluded of it’s kind anywhere in the area. The sun is broiling me alive. I like how it feels. You should try it.” Jessica spoke slowly with a gravelly quality that Anne had not heard before, almost as if Jessica was half asleep in her sensual relaxation. The effect of Jessica’s response was very arousing to Anne, and her nipples were protruding now with engorged attention. She had never seen Jessica nude before. The face-down position was startling in its composition. It seemed to reveal everything, but instead concealed the most valuable treasures of Jessica’s sex. Anne was briefly distracted by thoughts of what Jessica’s breasts would look like if she turned over. Anne’s heart skipped when she thought of seeing Jessica’s pussy, and at the thought she felt a physical flushing and warmth engulf the flesh between her legs.

“I…I didn’t bring a suit. You’re sure no one can see?” Anne could hardly disguise the excitement in her voice.

“You don’t need a suit, silly.” Jessica replied, her eyes opening for the first time, squinting in the sun. “There isn’t another home within a mile. The large fence there extends all the way past that grove of trees, and the trees there would block someone, even if they had a telescope. I sunbathe here all the time. Sometimes I masturbate back here.” The last statement was overtly flirtatious, and Anne was certain that Jessica was inviting her to share in the risky nature of exposure, not simply sunbathing.

“I don’t think…I mean…I’m not going to…” Anne’s mind whirled. The combination of the heat, of her aroused state, of the sight of Jessica’s perfect sculpted nakedness made Anne’s mind spin. She felt her own wetness clinging to the lips between her legs, and begin to moisten the panties she wore. She had no doubt that this place was secluded. What transpired here would be between her and Jessica. It was that thought that made her heart race, and her pussy engorge.

“Then stay in your underwear…Come on. It’s so hot and it feels nice. Have some lemonade and drop your drawers,” Jessica said playfully. She raised up on her arms and turned towards Anne. Jessica’s breasts were in full view now, small and firm, tanned, with erect nipples. Anne’s passion stirred again at the site. Jessica’s breasts were perfect, her body soft and curved, and she was smiling. Her right side was down, and her left leg was bent, sloping downward and obscuring her between her legs. Anne’s eyes traced there anyway, hoping to see. Jessica noticed.

“A step closer, sweety,” Jessica reached with her right hand, cupping Anne’s waistband, pulling her closer. Jessica swung to a seated position now, her left hand grabbing the zipper on Anne’s shorts, pulling the zipper down. Anne stood frozen. She could now see a wedge of well groomed brown hair on Jessica’s pubis. Her nipples were near bursting with engorgement. Her pussy dripped juices between swollen lips, trickling on to the white skin of her thighs and bathing her white cotton panties. She brought her legs together a little, to allow Jessica to easily remove her shorts.

“Alright, alright,” Anne resigned. Stepping out of the shorts and pulling her t-shirt off, unveiling her naked breasts. Anne stood there in only white panties. Her white skin gleamed. Soft, luxurious curves outlined her breasts and hips. Her breasts were moderate in size, voluptious and full, firm and vibrant. Her aureoles were small and perfectly circular, pink, offset in the center now with pink, somewhat large, and now defiantly enlarged and erect. She was thin yet soft through the midsection, with her cotton panties clinging to the broad curves of her hips. Between her legs, at the apex of the inverted white triangle of her panties, wetness saturated the material, causing it to cling to the flesh beneath, subtlety outlining the central cleft beneath. Jessica took notice. Anne’s nipples were screaming for attention, and though not as obvious, her pussy was clearly moistened and aching. Jessica returned to her prone position, face down, keeping her eyes on Anne. Anne grabbed some lemonade from the patio table, and sipping quickly, could taste the alcohol. She lay face up on the closest patio chair, her gleaming breasts pushed up defiantly.

“Mmmmm…you look hot,” Jessica teased. “I think I’m almost as turned on as you.” Jessica smiled, eying her friend, who was now gulping the lemonade. Jessica kept her eyes on Anne, and when she clearly had her attention, closed her eyes and moved her hands over her breast, flicking the erect nipple. “Mmmmm…feels good.” Anne’s mind was spinning hard now. She felt warm and intoxicated. Sweat began to collect on her abdomen and between her breasts and thighs. She smiled at Jessica’s flirtations, tracing with her eyes the length of Jessica’s body and curves.

“Looks like it,” Anne heaved, the site of Jessica, the heat and sweat, the soft breeze, the slight buzz from the drink, the incessant claims of arousal twisting her insides and sending electricity through to her erect nipples and glistening labia.

“No one around for miles,” she said thoughtfully, “Why not?” Her right arm bent at the elbow and her hand cupped her right breast, beginning to massage in very slow rhythms, her fingers pinching gently at her engorged nipple.

“Ohhhh…can I watch?” Jessica queried playfully, but she could not completely hide the rising excitement in her voice. Jessica again roled up on her side exposing her breasts, which betrayed strikingly erect nipples, this time rotating her hips evenly to display the slip of trimmed brown hair in her pubic region. She placed her head on one arm and gave her rapt attention to Anne, who, smiling at the question, scooted back slightly, closed her eyes, and sighed in complete resignation, “Why not.”

Anne’s right hand was now rhythmically kneading and massaging her right breast, pinching and flicking the engorged nipple while her left hand softly caressed her midsection. Shards of pleasure shot from the right nipple and Anne’s muscles began to engage involuntarily. Her left breast was jealous. Anne’s right arm extended across her body and dove hungrily into the soft flesh of her breast, kneading avidly while twisting and abusing the nipple. Pleasure rolled in waves through her body, emanating from her breasts and enveloping her whole body. Anne was, without knowing, beginning to slightly spread and retract her legs rhythmically as her pussy ached for attention. Jessica could see that the strip of Anne’s panties that extended between her legs was now entirely drenched, detailing as it clung to her flesh the length of her slit. Jessica’s heart raced and she unknowingly began to massage her nipple again. Anne’s eyes were still closed. Her rapid breathing becoming mild moans and sighs. Anne abandoned herself completely to the moment. Her left hand descended along her sweat beaded abdomen, pressed lightly on her panties, and traced the exterior of the moistened cloth, lightly invading the the cleft imprinted there. Her index finger pressed deeper, clearly splaying the the flesh beneath, and traced upward and downward the extent of the vertical slit. “yesssssss” she moaned softly.

Her right arm now lowered and grasped the waistband of her panties, her left briefly ascending and gripping the opposite side of the waistband. In one smooth maneuver, Anne pulled the panties from her body, first arching her buttocks off the patio chair, revealing as the panties descended a wedge of dark pubic hair, then, her buttocks returning to the chair and legs extending into the air, the panties now raising upward past her knees as the naked flesh between her legs appeared briefly, the panties removed completely now and tossed aside.

“Oh my,” Jessica continued playfully, now massaging her nipple with vigor. Anne’s long white legs came down again, her body stretched out in length now, her breasts heaving as she returned to position. Anne now spread her legs wide. Jessica almost stopped breathing as she looked at Anne in her splendor. A triangle of dark pubic hair pointed downward and at it’s apex began a perfectly linear slit descending through the tannish-pink soft flesh between her legs, guarded on each side symmetrically by soft, slightly bulging labia. The labia were clearly engorged and were glistening from Anne’s wetness. The smaller lips, hood, and orifice beneath were still obscured within the central cleft. Anne’s head extended back and her eyes remained closed. Her right hand descended quickly, failing to explore her inner thighs or pubis, instead invading hungrily between the upper portion of her labia into the deeper pussy beneath. Anne’s middle finger pressed one lip to the side, widening her slit and unveiling a reddish, dripping hood of flesh capping the deeper orifice, flanked on each side by engorged, moistened lips. Her index finger pressed the flesh just beneath the hood, retracting it slightly to uncover her erect clitoris. She now moaned heavily, arching her back, simultaneously contracting muscles of her torso and legs. Her left hand now descended and her fingers pulled impatiently at the left border of her slit, grasping repeatedly at the moist, yielding pink flesh. Her right middle finger splayed wider the flesh of her pussy, opening herself fully for access to the clitoris and orifice beneath. Her right index finger massaged in a circular fashion her clitoris, first slowly, and then more rapidly. The small lips surrounding her vaginal opening were pulled rhythmically as the clitoris was pressed and encircled. Anne moaned and heaved. Her right index finger occasionally stopped circling to rub the shaft of the clitoris. Anne now used her fingers from her left hand to hold her lips wide and then penetrated herself with her left index and middle finger. Continuing to manipulate her clitoris, Anne invaded and fingered her pussy in steady rhythm, fingering deep and then withdrawing in rapid repetition. She was now arching so extensively that her buttocks left the patio chair completely. She cried loudly now. Completely abandoned to her self-invasion, Anne could not hear or see Jessica, who, now softly massaging the flesh of her pussy, was hypnotized by Anne masturbating.

“Oh God. Yes. Fuck yourself. Ohhhh…deeper…yes…use your fingers…ohhhh…touch your clit…yes…fuck yourself deeper.” Anne was now arching her whole body and was so wide her left leg was resting on the patio table. Her muscles contracted rigidly. Her fingers splayed herself desperately apart and her fingers penetrated deeply into her dripping pussy. Her breath was light and rapid. Circling, penetrating, arching, moaning, faster and deeper, Anne screamed and climaxed. She collapsed to the patio chair, drenched in sweat and breathing deeply, her heart racing. Her eyes were still closed and a smile drifted on to her lips.

“Holy shit, that was…beautiful. You fucked yourself hard.”

NEW BLOG FEATURES!

Filed under: Site Updates — Tags: , — Tania @ 2:24 am

If you’ve been browsing my blog today, you might have noticed the lnew podcast and mobile links on the sidebar. I decided to put the proverbial 22’s on my blog by adding the Odiogo.com text to speech podcasts. You may end-up liking them, or hating them… to each their own. If anything, I’m sure it will make you laugh to hear the robotic male voice say “lesbians” and “patchlickers”, as if he’s reporting the six o’ clock news. I know I have! Now that I think of it, I’m going to post a story right after I post this, so you can enjoy a lengthy podcast. lol

*Note: I’ve removed the “listen now” buttons from each post since it seemed to slow down the page loading quite a bit, but you can still access the podcasts here:
CLICK HERE FOR PODCASTS/AUDIO FEED!
I think I may have found a different service with a female robot… more on that later!

What about the little flag icons, you ask? I also found a nice way to translate my blog into five additional languages. It throws the layout of my site a bit out of whack, but you can always look at the English version for the details. ;)

Questions, comments? Just let me know!

Have an easy week.

May 24, 2008

YOUR MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND MOVIE!

Filed under: Movies — Tags: , — Tania @ 8:20 pm

It’s getting to be that time of year, when you hear more crickets chirping than logs crackling in the fireplace, and it’s hard to sit inside for any reason… other than watching a movie, that is. Or reading my blog! :D That’s why I’m making it a point to scour all the lesbian sites I can find for bigger, longer ..uhhh.. movies.

Here’s another “Lesbian Training” flash movie for you to soak-up over the Memorial Day weekend. Have fun!!

May 22, 2008

FULL STEAM AHEAD!

Filed under: Site Updates — Tania @ 4:28 am

WHEW! After a lot of toying around (pun intended), I’ve finally straightened-out the problems we’ve been seeing with patchlickers gallery preview thumbs. No more strange or distorted thumbs, just crystal clear female beauty for one and all. Yes, I’ll finally be back to posting regular blog updates very shortly.

What’s left on my to do list? Not much… mainly reviewing a ton of new galleries, and finally iron-out the “my latest obsession” blurb. I was considering adding a blog post there, but found that the ‘welcome’ space on each page is a much better place to communicate. If you’re happy with what you see, or if you have a suggestion for something you’d like to see, please place your comments on my blog. How do you get there? Just click the “comments” link at the bottom of any post. I’ve reopened my comments to non-registered users, so it’s as easy as sending a text message.

Back soon!
~T

May 18, 2008

PROBLEMS SOLVED (hopefully)

Filed under: Site Updates — Tags: — Tania @ 11:18 pm

*UPDATE* My joy may have been premature after looking a bit closer at last night’s update. It appears that there’s still some things that need to be straightened-out in the database. I’ll let you know when things are definitely fixed, although I think that some of the problems will work themselves out after about a week of new updates. Cross your fingers!

Hey everyone! I’m sure you’ve noticed that everything is working once again, but I’m here to let you know the detail. All the thumbnail previews have been generated, and the database seems to be generating the correct results in almost every case. It seems that some of the “Cream of the Crop” gallery thumbs are confused, but I think that will resolve itself once new galleries replace the old. Ya know, you can help fix that problem by clicking on a ton of new/unique galleries. Don’t go out of your way, though. I know you’re on a mission while you’re here.

That’s it for now. I’m going back to enjoying my weekend. Look for a new (variety-packed) update in a few hours.

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH MY SITE?

Filed under: Site Updates — Tags: — Tania @ 5:55 am

That’s a good question… As you may have noticed, last week I bumped-up the size of the thumbs on the main page. Ever since then, some big thumbs were getting squeezed into spots for smaller thumbs and vice-versa. Long story short, I had to delete all my thumbs from the database and start from scratch.

Things should be back to normal by tomorrow. In the meanwhile, you may want to try my text listings and archived galleries.

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